On Wednesday, January 18, 2012, two days after I came back from visiting my cute little grandson (7 days old), I’ve got the “big” news: I’ll be out of job in two days! The government discontinued the mentoring program for professional newcomers that I’ve started back in 2007 (when I switched from engineering to coaching). I was not very surprised by their decision, since their new direction is creating community connections through group activities, not individual mentoring relationships. Yet… I didn’t expect their decision to “hit” me so suddenly!!!
I was in my manager’s office, listening to what he was telling me: how they all fought to save this program (especially since the government wants to strengthen the francophone community in Ontario), but it didn’t work! CIC wanted to cut exactly this position, and a receptionist’s one. I sat there, brave enough to listen more and say nothing, until my coordinator start saying how much she appreciated my work! That was too much!!! “If you appreciate me so much, how come I have to leave … so suddenly?” , a voice start screaming inside my head … until I burst in tears, giving place to a “poor me!” attitude. The program officially ends on March 31, but I had to leave earlier since I still had some vacation days, and they gave me a small “package” (one paid week for each year I worked there).
I couldn’t stay at work that day; still crying, I took my coat and rush out of the door to go home. Yet, I was also appreciative of the fact that they tried to save that position and the program; they even offered me a job starting April 1st, and a few days to decide if I accept it or not.
In fact, that bothered me even more than loosing my job! I had a few days to decide if I will accept a job offer that will leave out of job a good friend who was in divorce, has three children and no money from her husband, and very little chances to get another job (since she has a work permit, not the permanent residence yet). It was her position that was offered to me, because she’s on a contract that would not be renewed if I accept that position (I was a permanent employee, not on contract).
And that was not all: my mindset right now wouldn’t allow me to take a decision based only on external circumstances. I wanted to base my decision on what I want for myself, to help me move toward my dreams.
“It’s not the moment to think like that”, you might say, but for me …
I went through a huge struggle until Friday morning at 5am! I wake up from a dream with the very clear sensation that, if I accept that position, I will continue MY “agony”. It’s been a while since I wanted to start looking for a new job (the program became a kind of routine for me after so many years), and I wanted to focus on my business even more. I’m so excited about the impact that my coaching could have on people, that I wanted to run my coaching business full time as soon as possible. As soon as I became clear about that, not accepting that job offer was the only acceptable decision for me! Not because someone else is involved, but because of me! I could go now toward companies, to help them tap more into the biggest resource they have: their employees! I want to help companies create a more positive environment, that fosters a better communication and collaboration, creative thinking and solutions, appreciates initiative… which leads to happier employees, increased productivity, customer satisfaction and profits! And when the employees are happier, they could focus on creating a better life for themselves too!
While Wednesday and Thursday I cried a lot, and couldn’t talk with anyone without starting to cry, Friday I went to work with a totally different attitude: happy, excited and ready to put in practice my new idea! My colleagues, who came to say encouraging words and how much they appreciated our work together, got puzzled by my excitement! Even I was surprised by such a quick bounce back! I was able to take a decision based on what I want, and that decision seemed the right one for me… based on how it made me feel!
A day before, Thursday, I sent a message to all clients and mentors letting them know that the mentoring program is discontinued, and why. When emails start coming back with appreciation for the program, and sadness about what’s happening, I gathered all the messages into a file and sent it to my coordinator – in case they want to use it to get funding again (they expressed the willingness to do it).
I also sent a farewell message to all employees, thanking this organization for how it handled the situation, and for trusting my non-yet-proven abilities to design and implement such a program back in 2007, in a period of time when I was going trough a career change: their trust meant a lot to me!
Friday morning, I was invited by the General Manager in her office. It was obvious that she was affected by the decisions she had to make, it’s not easy to let people go! She started: “Well, we knew you have class, but your email to all employees proved it once again!”. We had an interesting discussion in her office. “The only thing I don’t like about how the organization handled this decision”, I told her at one point, “is that you gave me only two days to wrap up a program developed in five years, and pass the documentation to my supervisor”. “You know why? We tried to save your position until the last minute: we got back to CIC, looked for other options… until it was too late and we had to tell you!” What could I ask for more?! In that moment, the last pieces of anger and resistance about what happened … melted away. “I hope to see you back soon”, she continued. Well, that was the moment to tell her my decision: thanking for the generous job offer (even the salary would be the same if I would’ve accepted), I told her my dream.. going toward the companies, to make them more “human”. She started to laugh, and I noticed her energy shifting. “If anyone can do it, you’re the one!”, she said smiling. And added how much she appreciated my work, not only with my program, but also my contribution to the organization level… and offered to give me a recommendation. Wow, if the General Manager offers to give you a recommendation, what can you ask for more?!

——–
The funny thing about all these: few days before hearing the “big” news, I told a colleague “I’ve never worked more than five years in a position; I’ve wished it’s not the case this time.”
Well, I’ve got out of this job … exactly two weeks before accomplishing the five years!
After I’ve got the “big” news, she reminded me what I said … and we laughed together!
Pay attention what you wish for, it might happen!
———

Where am I now, a month after? Still excited about my new path, got new clients, delivered a workshop to students at TED Rogers School of Management (Ryerson University), a presentation to Districts B and H Toastmasters, invited to submit two workshops proposals and were accepted (one for Project Management Institute – SOC for their Professional Development Day; one for District 60 Toastmasters Spring Conference), a potential collaboration with the Bilingual Job Fair, featured two consecutive weeks in L’Express de Toronto (newspaper), interviewed by Radio Canada International (for Tam Tam and The Link segments), and other projects going on.

Was this the right decision for me? Time will tell!

And you… how quickly do you bounce back?
Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

Thanks,
Gabriela
ThoughtsDesigner.com

This is my first article published there, my contribution to their “Break Up With Your Ex” Day (February 13):

7 Strategies Of Stating Your Boundaries About Your Ex

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/gabriela-casineanu/7-strategies-state-your-boundaries-about-your-ex-expert

Any comments or strategies you’d like to add? Please write them below.

Thanks,

Gabriela

PS: If you’re used to see my photos along with my articles, well… that’s not my photo.

1. Growing a business is a journey. Like any journey, it takes time to accomplish it… if you don’t give up while going through the different challenges that this journey takes you through. In a Coaching business, for example, you have to build trust if you expect (new) people to pay for your services. Building trust takes time, especially for a business that provides services (non-tangible “product”).

2. Challenges are there to help you and your business grow to the next level, if you look at them this way. They can teach you new things (that you need in order to grow your business), or the way you should think about yourself and business… if you’re open enough to learn. For example, not knowing how to handle rejections, could lead into learning that skill. As a Coach, you have to be willing to work on yourself (remove your own limiting beliefs and negative emotions), if you want to help better your clients. Your business will grow in the same measure as you grow, and the time you’re dedicate to it.

3. Growing a business is more than just applying your skills and knowledge (Coaching skills, for a Coaching business). You have different roles as a one person business: Entrepreneur, Marketing, Operations Manager, Financial, Specialist (Coach – in my example). Your business success depends also on how well you manage all these roles.

4. Trust your dream, and your abilities to get there (even if they are not perfect at the moment). It’s not about how economy is right now, is about how well you manage your roles in that given environment. When you catch yourself with fear of something, that’s the perfect opportunity to expand your comfort zone by putting yourself in situations that could help you break through that fear.

5. Stay connected with people that think alike or you admire. Ask for feedback; both positive and negative feedback have the potential to help you (if you don’t take it personal, and get into defensiveness).

6. Stay focused on your business, but also give yourself to causes close to your heart. It’s not mandatory to provide them financial support; it could be something related to your business, but toward less fortunate people or organisations. It helps you be more in harmony with yourself, while your business is still struggling to achieve what you want.

7. Always have your ideal customer in mind, and shape the communication and marketing strategy accordingly. If you don’t know what your ideal customer is, take a piece of paper and jot down the qualities of the people you enjoy working with as clients. What do they have in common? Who appreciate more your services/ products? What are they looking for?

What else do you think it’s useful to know when you grow a one person business?

Or what challenges do you have?

Gabriela

Johan Wolfgang von Goethe was right: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

This is definitively an encouragement to write more articles for this website.
What topics are you interested to cover in my next articles?

Gabriela Casineanu
Thoughts Designer

It’s snowing again, small snowflakes blown away by the wind. It’s not so cold, and really feels that winter is finally here! I love winter! I love walking in the fresh snow, breathing the cold fresh air… not to mention skiing! It’s warmer inside, people get together more often, think more about what they want to achieve, what they didn’t… at least they have the intention to! Giving and receiving gifts during the Holidays season makes you feel you’re part of a bigger community, that it’s more than just your own issues, challenges, dreams…

I’ve heard often that 2012 will be a great year! But I believe that it’ll be great in the same measure we’ll make it this way, each of us! We’re part of this Universe, of this system in this moment in time. And our decisions, actions, and feelings have an effect not only on ourselves, but also on what’s happening around us, in our community, country, continent… We don’t live in separate worlds, that don’t interact. We DO have an impact … even if we’re not aware of it!
What impact would YOU like to have on this world in 2012?

I do have big plans for 2012, but even if they will not be all accomplished I’ll give myself the permission to enjoy the journey, to welcome the challenges and opportunities that Universe will send my way. Are you in?

Happy New Year!
Gabriela Casineanu
ThoughtsDesigner.com

PS: See, it does work! Even if you believe that you don’t have any idea, take the first step… than you’ll know what the second should be… an so on…

I challenge you this Holidays season to become more creative with the gifts you offer, and to spend more quality time with loved ones … including yourself! Since you’re the biggest resource that you have, what can you offer this Holidays season to yourself and others from your own “Creativity bag” ?

Please share it here, to help others get new ideas as well.

Happy Holidays!
Gabriela
ThoughtsDesigner.com

I looked for a while to find a Toastmasters club where I feel “at home”, and I finally found one: Keynote Speakers Advanced Toastmasters Club. I joined this club last July, and it didn’t take long to realize that being surrounded by experienced Toastmasters was not all that I wanted from a Toastmasters club!
I have experience delivering workshops, but going through Toastmasters manuals could still bring some benefits. I also felt the need to start a new (bilingual) club where I could enhance my public speaking and leadership skills in an environment that understands the challenges of speaking a 2nd or 3rd language. Plus, I wanted to instill my way of doing things, and create a strong bond between members, instead of being in a club that already has its own culture and history (that sometimes get in the way).
It turned out to be the first English-French Toastmasters Club in Toronto, “a true Canadian Toastmasters Club” – as Phil Tasci (EFTC mentor and Keynote President) said thinking at the two official languages in Canada. Even more, the experience of starting this new club brought new challenges, and benefits!!!
What I’ve learned from this experience?
1. If you feel that you need something, there are many others that feel the same! Don’t stop there… do something about it!
2. PR and Social media works! The club achieved the charter number of members (20) in less than a month since we’ve started (usually it takes 4-6 months to a Toastmasters – Community club to get 20 members). The key is to connect with the right people, and leverage what you already have (your own connections, for example).
3. Social media alone, without making real connections, won’t work. There is not enough bond in the virtual environment, but it could be a great catalyst if you add the real human factor to it.
4. By doing what you feel it’s right, you open up a world of opportunities! It gave me the chance to meet great people, opportunities to do presentations and workshops that otherwise I couldn’t have! Many “doors” are opening for me and my business now, just because I had the courage to start this club, and put heart into it!
5. Starting something new is a great opportunity to rediscover the skills you already have, that you might ignore or not yet expressed. Lately I heard often that I’m a great leaser, and I always run away from leadership positions in the past.
6. By helping others, you help yourself! Your visibility and credibility goes up when you do something good for others. You might even get an award without thinking of it! (like I did: 2012 WoS Volunteer Award)
7. Team work is important: no matter how many skills and talents you have, you cannot do all by yourself! And even if you can, doing it together, it’s even more rewarding! That’s a good lesson for me!
8. Integrity is important! There might be people that don’t agree with you, but you have to follow your path. Your vision could guide you, and you’ll find great people along the way.

What would you like or want? Can you do something different to get it?
Please share it here, maybe I have some ideas for you too.

Gabriela
ThoughtsDesigner.com

Thanks for having the courage to ask, O.S. It’s the first step toward finding what you want!
As a newly proclaimed expert in groups I would like to ask you first: What are your interests?

Without having more details, all I can do is to give you 9 general ideas:
1. Meetup.com: search for keywords like Toronto and your interests, and you’ll find many groups to choose from. They usually meet once a month and you’ll meet friendly people in such groups, ready to network with others with similar interests.
2. Create your own meetup group, according to what you’re looking for. The meetup.com website will send a notification to all the meetup members that a new meetup was created, and those who are attracted by the description of your group will become members. Then you can schedule meetup events for your group, to meet them. The website is very easy to use, and allows RSVP, calendar, member’s forum, etc.
3. If you’re interested in groups related to a certain profession, look for professional associations and attend their events. Or participate in the forum discussions, if they have one on their website. Or ask other professionals in the same field, what groups they know in that field.
4. Based on your interests, ask your friends and colleagues if they know any group of people with the same interests or to give you suggestions where to find them.
5. You can join any group or attend any event, and ask people there if they could recommend you a group of people with those interests.
6. Of course, our friend Google could help too.
7. If you are on Linkedin, search for Linkedin groups based on the keyword “Toronto”, join those groups, than start a discussion on this topic. You might be surprised that people do respond.
8. Linkedin has specialized groups as well, search for them and join them. Participate in discussions and connect with the people that you’re interested in. And take those connections out of the virtual world, whenever you feel comfortable. I encourage sooner, than later, because sometimes our imagination could create an image that’s different than reality… you might not want to wait too much to find out.
9. Same on facebook.

Next time you’ll ask a question, O.S., please be more specific if you’d like to receive a more detailed answer.

If you read this post and have other suggestions for O.S., please add them here.

Thanks,
Gabriela
ThoughtsDesigner.com

Now I would like to share other reasons why I was so motivated to start this new club, which took a lot of my energy and time to get started, and to guide it on the right path.

I’m a Professional Certified Coach, and I truly believe that people can enhance their career and improve their life through Coaching. I am a live example of that, and there are many others that could say the same thing, including Google CEO Eric Schmidt.
But you know what?! Toastmasters shares similar concepts with Coaching!

1. They both focus on personal growth. While the speed is different, they both create a supportive environment that facilitates personal growth.
In Toastmasters you will focus more on enhancing your communication and leadership skills, while Coaching approaches life and career from a holistic perspective (takes more in consideration than just communication and leadership).

2. They both understand the concept: more you give, more you receive. This concept touches two aspects:
- They both ask for a fee, knowing that it’ll bring some commitment to the process. Without commitment to personal growth you won’t get results in Toastmasters or with Coaching! There is a difference in fees, but if you measure it in time units and global benefits on the person… that difference makes sense! It is an investment in your life, have you thought about that?
- More you put your heart into this process (either Toastmasters or Coaching, or even both), more you will get out of it! Showing up at a Toastmasters meeting without being prepared for the role you’ve chose will not help you as much as when you had prepared for it! Same in Coaching: not being accountable to what you said you’ll do by next session, we’ll not get you the results that you expect!

3. To help you feel comfortable enough to progress toward your goals, both Coaching and Toastmasters create that supportive and challenging (but safe) environment; and act as cheerleaders when they notice your progress.
Toastmasters focuses on creating this environment in a group setting (Toastmasters members, regular meetings), and provides valuable tools to achieve that. The drawback is that your growth speed depends on others too, because there are a limited roles in Toastmasters meetings, and you might not get the chance to advance as quickly as you would like (as in Coaching).

4. Talking about goals and objectives: both Toastmasters and Coaching highlight the importance of setting goals and work toward achieving them. They have their own “tools” to support you.
In Toastmasters you get manuals, valuable feedback from other members, and learn through experience (deliver speeches, take on different roles). Coaching has a different approach, more creative I believe: it customizes the methods to your topics, goals and personality, so you can progress in your own way, while discovering new things about yourself and empowering you to change those that you would like to.

I have no doubt that we can co-create a wonderful future, if we believe that such future exist! Since personal growth could fast track this process, I totally appreciate Toastmasters contribution in building this future!

Please keep in mind that Toastmasters and Coaching are not competitors. I consider them as different tools in your tools box, that could enhance each other results!
Why not try them both?!

Gabriela Casineanu,
ThoughtsDesigner.com

“Don’t make me think!” is a concept that’s used in designing websites, that helps designing in a way that could engage the potential website visitor to spend more time on that website. This concept applies anywhere! Even when you’re looking for a job or you want the collaboration of someone else: present the benefits to hire you or collaborate with you, don’t make them guess… some might not find the answers that suits best your request!

What are your thoughts on this?

Gabriela
ThoughtsDesigner.com