It goes both ways: the mind gives commands to the body, and body language can also shape who we are … as shown in this TED presentation by social psychologist Amy Cuddy. She’s talking about the effects of consciously putting our body in certain body postures.
There’s also the unconscious body language that sometimes the mind doesn’t notice. I’m talking about that “gut feeling” that’s easily perceived in childhood, but often gets unnoticed by adults trapped in their mind (focused only on their thinking). The “gut feeling” it’s the way body brings information into our awareness, info that cannot be directly perceived by the mind. The connection between “gut feeling” and mind might get blocked by the limiting beliefs and strong negative emotions we’ve experienced in the past, so we’ll miss that useful information for wiser decisions and effective communication with others.
I talked about limiting beliefs in another post and video, so today I’d like to draw your attention to something else. Amy Cuddy’s video presents results of a scientific research, showing how powerful and powerless body postures could shape who we are. After viewing this video, the question that I want to leave you with is:
Did you notice your default body posture (powerful or powerless) in each of your personal and professional relationships?
It might be a different one for each person you relate with, but we tend to use by default the same body posture or attitude in a relationship. I noticed people who feel very strong in professional settings, but take by default a powerless posture in a romantic relationship, or vice-versa.
While how we feel in a relationship could be driven by many factors, would you like your default “settings” to install by themselves?
Or would you rather work on removing the default behaviour, so you can adjust to different situations according to who you really are?
By being able to adjust according to the situation, we are more flexible to adapt … and this flexibility builds stronger and lasting relationships!
Please share this post and Amy’s TED presentation: Like she says “tiny tweaks can lead to BIG CHANGES”!
Gabriela Casineanu is a System Coach and artist, sharing in this blog information based on her experience and insights. Feel free to sign up for updates.