I recently went to Sudbury for two days (to deliver a workshop), and I had a very interesting experience in the middle of the night.
The hotel gave me a room at the first floor, anyone passing by on the street could look into my room. My first reaction when I got in the room was to cover the big window (from ceiling to floor), but the curtains were blocked and I couldn’t cover the window completely. I wish I had the idea to report to the reception, so they can fix it that evening, but it didn’t occur to me … and I couldn’t have the experience I’m about to share either. 🙂
The night came buy, and I didn’t feel comfortable that anyone passing by could stare into my room. The window couldn’t be open, at least I didn’t notice that it could. It wasn’t traffic on the street, but I still felt uncomfortable, especially after the lady who gave me a ride to the hotel said that it’s not safe to walk in the evening in that area (the hotel is in Downtown Sudbury!).
Add to all that the usual light in a hotel room (a couple of lamps with not bright light), and you’ll get an idea in what atmosphere I finally fell asleep … I was already tired!
I noticed a hand pushing in through the curtains, moving around to find a way to get in. I was sure that’s just a matter of seconds to see that person inside my room. I start panicking, agitating myself and wanting to shout, but no noise was coming out of my mouth! Noticing that augmented my fear, and I panicked even more … trying to make noise and feeling even more helpless because I couldn’t!!! My fear was getting bigger … and bigger… until I … woke up!
Realizing that it was just a dream (a very lucid dream!), a nightmare actually, didn’t bring me any consolation! Even awake, my fear was still there … as strong and alive as it was in my dream! Did you ever have a nightmare, and you woke up with the same fear or strong emotions that you felt in your dream?!
Now awake, thoughts start running though my mind while the panic and the strong fear were still present in my body.
It’s been a long time since I had a dream that provoked this reaction, but I remembered some childhood dreams with the same experience of wanting to say something … but I couldn’t!
If it’s true that our soul travels away while we sleep, it might make sense to say that we can actually talk only when our soul is connected with our body, when we are awake!
The most interesting part of my experience that night was just about to happen. Being awake, I realized that I have “tools” (thanks coaching!) to deal with fear. While I was still feeling the fear very strong in my body, I start applying the method called “Unfolding the signals”. So I start paying attention to the sensations in my body, and what was trying to happen. Yep, it was in the middle of the night, around 2am, when I was coaching myself on a strong fear that was very present in my body thanks to that nightmare! 🙂
At the beginning I noticed the fear spread out all over my body, but more I focused, more I noticed changes happening: those sensations start concentrating and moving up toward my throat, giving me a sensation of chocking. More I focused on it, more the chocking became stronger, and stronger …
As a coach, I ask many questions while something similar happens in a session with a client, so there I was in the middle of the night, balancing back and forth between being “the client” and “the coach” … curious what was trying to happen. 🙂
A similar situation happened in a coaching session with a client: the fear accumulated around the neck gave her such a strong sensation of chocking, that she stopped the session there… it was too frightening for her!
It was frightening for me too, but I was also curious to see what’s next! 🙂 And, based on my coaching experience, I had the strong belief that this will actually take me through a breakthrough … which it actually happened!
Even the sensation of chocking was very strong, and becoming even stronger, I “scanned” my body to see what else was happening. To my surprise, the stronger the chocking sensation became … more my Crown Chakra was opening!!! The choking was very unpleasant, and getting stronger, but imagine my curiosity getting bigger too!!! 🙂 At a certain point, the “force” that caused the choking started to change direction, pushing a little up … instead of toward the middle of my throat! I continued to notice what’s going on, while the “force” or “form” that was pushing continued to change direction, moving slowly up, toward the Crown Chakra (that continued to open), and up … until it passed through that opening … continuing up … loosing gradually the connection with my body … until I felt it was completely gone! And so was my fear!!! I was in WOW!!!
I don’t thing the process took more than a few minutes, but it felt so good at the end, and I was able to fall asleep soon after!
This experience left me with the question:
What if the fear or other emotions that we feel in our body in certain situations want also to “go away” … but WE lock them in, not knowing how to let them go?!